Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Wish-list

Oswald Bastable and Poneke have tagged me to do a wishlist for 2008. So here are eight things I am crossing my fingers for this year:

1. A refrigerated pillow. Don't you love the feeling of sinking into a bed made with cool crisp cotton sheets? Possibly not. I suspect many of my readers sleep on rough hessian sacks, or worse, polyester. So take my word for it. Unfortunately, the pillowcase warms so quickly; in the heat of summer I find myself flopping my pillow over and over to get the cool spots. Someone needs to invent a pillow with a central cooling system. That would be nice, thanks.

2. Walking uphill in heels is fine, but downhill? Impossible to do without bending knees in a peculiar fashion, so choice of footwear is limited depending on location. So, wish that Auckland was made flat. Will suggest this to John Banks.

3. My garden in 'NZ House and Garden' magazine. I did it all myself, and it is quite fabulous, and everyone ought to know it.

4. Lucie Boshier to release a line of lingerie. Trelise Cooper has stopped producing her line of frilly essentials, which I suppose means there is no money to be made in it, but just imagine! Bet it would be so gorgeous you’d grope yourself.

5A. Wally Simpson famously said, "You can never be too rich or too thin." No chance of the 'too thin' taking off in New Zealand, we're a nation of hammy heffalumps, but I'd like to change this to "You can be too blonde and too thin." Eek. My wish is that more women would realise blonde does not suit everyone, and brassy urine-yellow suits no-one.

5B. Aiming for a size zero? Stop reading the celebrity-gossip shitazines. Women who don't know how to get out of a limousine without flapping their legs open are not viable role models.

6. All Croc shoes, leggings, shapeless smock tops, and men wearing chunky white sunglasses, to disappear in a cloud of vapour.

7. 'What Not To Wear' to return with Trinny and Susannah. The current presenters are shining examples of the programme's title.

8. That Ms W would hurry up and have her baby. I know more about her bodily functions than I do about my own.

17 comments:

Mark said...

Hey! Welcome back! You were most definitely missed! And I owe Oswald this meme...

poneke said...

Thank you for accepting the challenge, Mrs Smith. Re your number seven, and just apropos nothing at all, one of my favourite Dr Who episodes is the 2005 one with Christopher Eccleston where Trinny and Susannah voiced robot versions of themselves in a game show called Face Off, where they cut off the contestants' faces, and, er, everything else.

You should be able to see a picture of them here.

Oswald Bastable said...

#1- I solved this problem by air-conditioning the whole house!

Robyn said...

#2 This is one of the advantages of Wellington - the downtown area is blisfully flat. (But hills are probably good for global warming?)

#5A Something here too about hair straighteners. The combination of piss-blonde and straight is the quickest way to look like a ho. Pluck your eyebrows into a thin line, and you've got it made.

#7 T and S have their own series now. They're still telling people that they look like potatoes, but are getting to the psychological root of it all. Crikey.

Cactus Kate said...

#4 - I visited Lucie's shop in Newmarket last week. Fabulously colourful but alas I like my dresses in black.

I am delighted you completed this. My 1-8 was just more money for myself. Your wishes are far more self-centred so congratulations.

D-Man said...

The same goes for cycling up hills.

And John Banks may just be mad enough to help us out. Get the bulldozers out, Banksie!

Miss Prozac said...

Miss Prozac prays Mrs Smith wasn't buying the Trelise Cooper frillies from her Ezibuy range.

Mrs Smith said...

Poneke - some real-life contestents require the same treatment.

Miss Prozac - a stony glare should suffice as an answer.

Annie Fox! said...

1. I suffer the same problem, lack of sleep now causes me to look like a 50 year old woman due to having to flip pillow all night. So I decided to investigate this ...

Apparently there are 8 others in the world that want to invent a cold pillow http://www.43things.com/things/view/23057/invent-the-infinite-cold-pillow.

But it looks like it's been solved at Chillow Pillow http://www.sitincomfort.com/chilcoolandc.html

And if this doesn't help you can always just buy the sticker http://www.pillowflipper.com/

Annie Fox! said...

On second thoughts the Chillow Pillow is a bag made out of vinyl - can't see how that will be nice to lay my pretty head on. But might just order it anyway to see.

miss_seph said...

I'm hankering for house and garden one day too (more realistically 'your home and garden') - but if I was honest I would make that a resolution for 2015 :P

Heck, I initially wrote 2010, but then realised that's only 2 years away!! that kind of makes me feel old!

miss_seph said...

Annie: slip an egyptian cotton pillow over the chillow? that would make it nicer

Stef said...

Apologies for being part of the problem of 5A. Made the mistake of ditching favourite salon as couldn't get appointment and was so traumatised I haven't set foot in a hairdressers since.

Hopefully problem will be rectified this weekend.

Mrs Smith said...

Oh my, Annie - I thought I was the only one who yearned for a chilly pillow! We could start our own supoort group - Pillow Flippers Anon.

Annie Fox! said...

I don’t know about the anonymous bit – just shout it from the roof top for all to hear “I’m a pillow flipper and I’m proud”.

Granted this would mean a change of address from the leafy burbs to the Auckland Psyche ward, but hey it would be worth it.

Problem 1) pillows there are made of plastic that make your face sweat.

Problem 2) no fancy-pants Egyptian cotton pillow there Miss_Seph.

Desert Rat said...

Dear Mrs Smith
I'm wounded. My daughter gave me charcoal grey crocs for Xmas - how can I not wear them? She told me I look stylish in them. Is she just trying to embarrass me or does she lack your sophistication and taste?
Well, they're better than bare feet on hot sand.

Mrs Smith said...

Desert Rat - a man of taste would hurl them into the nearest bin. However, a kindly father would wear them with pride. Take your pick.