Wednesday, April 09, 2008


What beautiful, crisp autumnal mornings are upon us now! I was walking happily, a gay spring in my step, breathing the freshly carbonated traffic fumes, and thinking all was well with the world, when a car drove past at speed.
The passenger bellowed at me.
"You're going the wrong way – K Rd's that way."

For those uninitiated with Auckland's streets, K Rd (as it is casually referred to, Karangahape Road if addressed formally; my foreign readers might like to attempt its pronunciation), is known for little more than its preponderance of night-time prostitutes. Thus, it was clear that, far from being helpful, the bellower was actually being very rude. (One wishes to point out here that my attire - a fetching knee-length trenchcoat, and jeans – didn't merit the comment; the only skin exposed to view were my hands and face, and it's possible I had my hands in my pockets).

It was very odd. I recall another time, when I was a teenaged Miss Smith, when a bus of hooligans drove past, and one shouted out the window, to much laughter from his fellow primates, "Show us where the axe gotcha." The phrase is embedded in my head forever, as I repeated it to myself for some moments, until I fathomed what on earth was meant by it.

Men think women are hard to understand, but really! Shouting vulgar things at strangers who are minding their own business seems singularly odd. Can anyone explain?


unPC lesbian said...

Maybe the phrase "gay spring in my step" is the telling one, as you know K Road (especially the Kamo to O'Malleys section) is now famous for another sort of sexual activity.

miss_seph said...

I too am loving the autumn mornings, especially this morning.

Sadly I still dont' understand the axe comment. :(

Wonderferret said...

It is a lovely time of year and K'Rd is looking very fetching.
One or two pleasant bars without the plastic populations of Ponsonby or the Viaduct, any number of venues for live music and cabaret unfolding on the footpaths almost every night :)

I can recommend the K'Rd heritage walk if you wish to know more.

Wonderferret said...

P.S I have no explanation for the action of the oiks.

Kublai Kahn said...

A clue from the Times Online perhaps:

Twenty year old Catherine is getting ready for work. She finishes her immaculate makeup, slips on a Mango trench coat and double checks her bag before heading for the door. Handcuffs? Variety pack of condoms? Jumbo tube of sensitive lubrication? Two pairs of “back up" knickers?

Of course, this is not the usual rucksack paraphernalia of a second-year university student. Catherine is a prostitute and just one example of a growing number of students working within the sex industry.

Your assailants may have been debating what, if anything, you were wearing under the trench coat! Perhaps an errant handcuff was trying to escape from your purse?

Oswald Bastable said...

It was wishful thinking.

They were WISHING they could afford you!