Saturday, April 28, 2007


I caught a cold on the flight back to New Zealand. I am certain the germs must have wafted over from the economy section, as it is a wretched, poor-person’s type cold. My dulcet tones have been reduced to a timorous squeak by a saw-like cough, which is thoughtfully accessorised by the unimaginable horrors produced by my nostrils. I have also acquired the tendency to fall asleep at precisely 8.30pm, no matter what I am doing. All in all, rather a damper has been placed on my social life.

My loss, your gain. I have had plenty of time to read the May issue of (English) Vogue, so I can report what the fashion trends will be for the next NZ summer.

Hippy/Bohemian, Gladiator themes; The mini persists (God help us all. Too few people realise that just because one can, that doesn’t mean one should). Fashionable colours: Apple-green, Raspberry, Acid-yellow.

Dresses are in, but only the tragically déclassé will actually wear them. The truly fashionable will just clutch them to their ribcages.

Smiling is out; it is now much more chic to look like one is suffering chronic back pain, or straining to pass a bowel motion.


stef said...

Apple-green, raspberry - we're going to be walking fruits?

Isn't the answer to mini abuse to put restrictions on its sale in much the same manner as cigarettes. I hereby propose the following:

1. No minis over a size 8 should be made.
2. No shopper above the age of 25 should be able to purchase a mini.
3. No shopper with cellulite should be able to purchase a mini.
4. Any store with an outlet in suburban Auckland shall be banned from selling the mini.

sally said...

What's with the model getting her anorexic norks out? And with all that weird fetish bondage 'bra' - just proves the high fashion world is as out of touch as the Labour Party.

Cactus Kate said...

I sympathise Smith, currently suffering from suspected giardia, the worst variety of the "poor man's" disease.

Of course if the Asians washed their bloody hands before preparing my food, there may be some hope....

Mrs Smith said...

Stef - Every phoneme pure genius. You should start a fashion advice column.

Sally - the norks look even worse, if you click on the picture, and see the bigger version. Her nipples are really horrid.

Cactus - Dear God, how awful. I do wish these people would learn to keep their filthy germs to themselves.

unPC lesbian said...

Haven't we just done acid yellow/green......a colour that should be left where it belongs, in ones nasal caveties.

Mrs S, the last dress reminds me of a lurex 80's fashion phase, I've sent you a pic of me modelling such. Tamper with as you please.

Cactus there is a bright side of course, think of the weight loss!!

Cactus Kate said...

UnPC, yes, 3 kilos so far. And counting. It's amazing what happens when you don't eat and drink only water. I am feeling very Kate Moss this week.

Anonymous said...

you and kate are on the same drug binge with ya nonsensical rantings this week then?

Mrs Smith said...

Come on, Anonymous, surely you can do better than that. Feeble effort. Try again.

Cactus Kate said...

I think he wants us.

His girlfriend must have deflated when the cat clawed the rubber.

Anonymous said...

not mixing up your defacting while climaxing with the cat kate?