Sunday, November 19, 2006

Cack Is The New Black

The Ellerslie Flower Show is over for another year.

It would appear, if garden designers have anything to do with it, that minimalist gardens are completely passé, and have been replaced with ‘fusion gardening’ - “a daring mix of plants from around the world,” one designer explained to me, admirably, without a trace of irony. This new concept was cleverly interpreted as a hideous mash of tropical vegetation and hydrangeas.

Decaying metal is also très chic. “If you’ve got rusty iron in your garden, you are very trendy at the moment,” says Convenor of Judges, Bob Sweet.

UNITEC Landscape Design Students won a gold medal for their garden, “Reflections on a Black Landscape." Thematically, it was meant to reflect the way in which the New Zealand landscape is represented in the cinema. It was the most thoroughly depressing garden I have ever seen.

A nice garden to kill yourself in

If this garden genuinely represents anything about New Zealand, it would certainly explain why we have such a high suicide rate.

While Depression and Decay were popular themes for the garden exhibits, the retailer stands were bolder, and used ‘A Load Of Awful Cack’ as their motif.

A load of awful cack

The Eta chips, baby clothes, and wheat foot-warmer stands were intriguing additions to a garden show, however the Micro Fibre Cleaning Cloth demonstration was a truly thrilling finale.

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