Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Smoking and What I Learned From ‘Prison Break’

None of the POGs smoke. I suspect this is because the Botox prevents them from parting their lips (I am quite serious).

I smoke. Partly because I like it, partly because it infuriates the POGs, but mostly because it is a viable substitute for eating. I don’t like exercise, being fat is not an option, and those who say cigarettes are ridiculously expensive, haven’t considered how much money is saved by not buying a gym membership.

I did try out a certain gym for a while, but Toni “Man-Hands” Marsh was always there, no matter the time of day, and she put me off. It was like being in prison. Man-Hands was Queen Bitch, and would eye up the new ‘fish’ with a steely eye, while robotically flexing the weight-bars to a techno beat.

Did I mention she was always there?

I learned from ‘Prison Break’ that one should always be ready for trouble, so I was tempted to fashion a shank out of my mascara wand, in case Man-Hands tried to corner me in the showers. Unfortunately, she never did.


Lisa said...

You know the more you talk about the POGs, the more I feel like stomping on their heads. But then that could just be the mood I'm in right now lol

Thanks for dropping by and commenting, I really appreciated that. I'm also flattered that I've been put down on your sidebar as a 'lady'. Who knew?? lol

Mrs Smith said...

Don't be too flattered. I wanted some word that alliterated with Lisa, so it was a coin-toss between 'lady' or 'loutish.' You were lucky.

I don't think it has anything to do with the mood you are in. I always feel like stomping on their heads.

Anonymous said...

sorry... what exactly is a POG?

Krimsonlake said...

I've never quite understood the price of gym membership. Paying oodles of money to hang out with sweaty people and annoyingly painful contraptions? So never going to happen!

I prefer sitting here smoking, offending the world just by doing so, and typing my comments in blogger boxes.