Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Festivities

Haven't I been dreadful! Dear readers neglected for so long… Tsk tsk. I shall give myself a sharp slap on my bottom, to teach myself a lesson in manners.

I have been so very busy lately – time soaked up with festive alcohol like a sodden bar-towel. The arrival of December has invariably lead to the obligatory rounds of Christmas sociability, where everyone, fuelled by unnatural amounts of champagne, feign fairly convincing displays of mutual affection and bonhomie.

Christmas is generally my favourite time of year – the specials on champagne makes one's eyes water with glee. However – it is so very hard on the waistline. Clothes which hung with comfortable ease a month ago are now straining at their zippers like over-stuffed sausage skins.

Have also been helping (?) Mrs D make up hampers for her husband's clients. I query the use of the word 'helping,' as my role is limited to murmuring "Why yes, that would be lovely" and finding her car-keys. She usually leaves corporate-gifty things to a company to do – but for some reason thought she/we would do it this time.

Personally, I think the most help a wife can be to her husband's career is to stay well clear of it, something Mrs D should heed. Having bought voluminous French wicker hampers the size of hot-air balloon baskets, then stocked them with champagne, she said gaily, "Now let’s go buy loads of yummy things to go in them!"

I pointed out that there was a budget assigned to us, and with the remaining funds, the loads of yummy things couldn't cost more than six dollars per hamper.
She froze. "Sixty dollars?"
"Six."
"Sixty?"
"Six."
"Oh."

There was a long silence, in which we both tried to think of ways in which three cubic metres of unfilled hampers could be made to look full without resorting to wads of screwed-up newspaper. I think Mr D will be using the usual company next year.

Other updates: I have decided to write a children's book! I tried a novel earlier this year, but used up all my ideas after one page. Thought a children's one might be easier – the print is bigger, for starters.

6 comments:

miss_seph said...

I KNOW! Aren't the specials amazing!! We bought 4 bottles of Moët the other day, and then I saw at GlenGarry that Veuve Clicquot is only $64.95 a bottle!!! Just a pity the specials don't filter down through the bars and restaurants :(

Wonderferret said...

Merde alors!
I haven't had time to do my Xmas shopping as yet but I'd better get down to the wholesalers lest I have a dry christmas.

Mrs Smith said...

Vite, Wonderferret, vite. Before Miss Seph buys the lot!

Mark said...

"I have decided to write a children's book!"

Psst - what will you write about since the usual - bottom-slapping, ingestion of alcohol and the indiscretions of others - are decidedly NOT suitable topics for the little dears??

Charlie said...

Perhaps something along the lines of-

"Mrs. Smith likes to drink. See Mrs. Smith drink. Drink, Mrs. Smith, drink!"

Or even an educational version (LEARN YOUR NUMBERS/COLOURS/DAYS OF THE WEEK/ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCES/COSMETIC PROCEDURES WITH MRS. SMITH)-

"On Monday Mrs. Smith had one drink. Good Mrs. Smith! On Tuesday Mrs. Smith had two drinks. But today Mrs. Smith had lots and lots of drinks. Can you count the drinks? Today Mrs. Smith is very happy."

Mrs Smith said...

Brilliant, Charlie - I laughed and laughed. Even printed your comment off to show Mr Smith.

Current theme working well, I have written simply pages and pages. But I like your idea - it will be the sequel.