Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Say No To Norrie

Social-event snapper Norrie Montgomery has started his own website – filled with photographs taken at Auckland events, and a diary detailing stunning insights of product-launches and pay-phones.

(Note to Norrie, when you referred to Nicky Watson's ANUS horribilis, I think you intended to say Annus horribilis. However, I am not sure. Being one of the few people in Auckland who have not seen Ms Watson’s bum-hole, I am not able to confirm whether it was her year or her rear that was so dreadful).

The website is called 'The A-List.' Perhaps the 'A' stands for ANUS.

It does rather seem that the social butterflies are being replaced by a persistent swarm of flies. In any case, someone regularly snapped by the tiny tabloid tout is also displeased by the standards maintained. They write;

There is a secret Auckland society launching calling itself 'Say No To Norrie'.....members who accept that enough is enough. Members who urgently NEED to sign up to save themselves anymore embarrassment are:

Gilda Kirkpatrick, Nicky Watson, Ricardo Simich (who is known to throw his poor long suffering mother at the snapper), Aja Rock, Anna Jobz, Jacqui Ansin and did I mention Gilda? Dangerously close to total social annihilation Cameron Brewer, The World family trio and Hilary Timmins.

Do these people have absolutely nothing better to do than constantly inhabit this frighteningly sad world of dull par-tays every night? Could they not just pop their feet up in front of the telly for ONE night a week? As Tan-orexics are addicted to dangerous over-exposure to UV on solarium beds are these over-exposed fame hunters addicted to flashes going off in their faces?

The latest reason to say no, is of course he now works for the Herald On Sunday ... featuring in those pages is instant, swift and severe social suicide and symptoms include constant ridicule from your peers. Whatever you do DON'T get snapped with any of the aforementioned SSFA (Sunday Social Fame Addicted) members ... you will need to go into social rehab sooner than you think.

The A-List. Are you on it?

14 comments:

Deadman said...

If the "A" stands for "asshole", I've been on it for YEARS!

:oD>

Anonymous said...

At least the man in the photo is 40 years younger than James K.

Anonymous said...

Who are these people ?
Not one is recognizable outside of the Viaduct or Parnell let alone the rest of the world.

Anonymous said...

That is so funny, well done. Hey its not easy being a social snapper in Auckland you know it's has such a small gene pool, so what you should say is 'Hey Norrie get your arse over here we want a pic',and I will gladly oblige, the people I enjoy photographing are the people having the most fun, live is to short to stay at home and watch telly get out and have a bit of a laugh ,Auckland is a good little city with plenty going on,so get into it , you too idlevice come up and say hi sometime
cheers all the best
norrie

Anonymous said...

Norrie: You're right about and the small gene pool and by association genetic deformities that that entails. I do wish I had your job though :-)

Anonymous said...

Any time you fancy a night on the town Bob N let me know , you will have a laugh at least, I could write a book
cheers
Norrie

Anonymous said...

Love it!

Miss Prozac also loved the Nicky "no-bum pix" rule...

Mrs Smith said...

Cheers Norrie - what a good sport you are.

unPC lesbian said...

I kept losing track of which page I was on when looking cos the girlies all look the same....

Mrs Smith said...

That's because they ARE all the same girlies, UnPC...

unPC lesbian said...

DOH! I forgot, it's a small pond.lai

Anonymous said...

Hey, Norrie does those of us interesting in raising our profiles around town - i.e. conducting business and making $$$ - a great service.

And, yeah, I am on the A List :)

Cheers,
Bill G.

Anonymous said...

Bill G.

I trust then you are paying him for this service he is providing then?

Mrs Smith said...

Bill G - attending such events may be good for business (networking, etc), but being snapped for the papers is an irrelevant vanity. NZ's true 'movers and shakers' are seldom photographed.