Advice

Dear Ladies,

Perhaps it is human nature to want what you can’t afford (except in my case, where I have everything I want and loads more besides), however, this is God’s way of letting you know that you are not, and probably never will be, anyone who matters.

If you can’t afford to buy the $3000 handbag of your lower-class dreams, then don’t worry. These bags are quite vulgar anyway, and one shouldn’t aspire to look like a trampy starlet or Middle Eastern gold-digger.

Those tempted to buy a cheap replica, should think thrice. No matter how good a replica it is, there is one thing about it that will let everyone know it is not the real thing.

You.

Here’s why. People who can afford the genuine item, generally do not:

Stand in the economy class check-in line
Wear jandals
Catch public transport
Live in South Auckland
Wear size 18 clothes
Congregate outside McDonald outlets.

Kind Regards,

Mrs Smith