Friday, August 17, 2007

Licked

The Media Girl has an odd way of starting a conversation.

"Do you watch porn?" she asked.
This wasn't addressed to me, but to Mr Smith, so I naturally became rather interested in where she planned on going with this tête-à-tête, and whether to make a witty contribution of a stiletto heel through her foot.

Fortunately for her foot, it wasn't an invitation, but the start of an anecdote about certain predilections she shared with her flat-mates.
"I like being licked from behind," she concluded, cheerfully.
"How lovely," I murmured, "a truly delightful story. Quite heart-warming. Perhaps you ought to put it on your profile page."

She rolled her eyes. Instead of her foot, I imagined a Miu Miu spike through her bloated head, and her whizzing around the room like a deflating balloon. It was a satisfying thought.

I mean, really. What is wrong with the old standards of conversation-starters, like the weather? Dull, perhaps, but at least talking about the rain never made one lose one's appetite.

Sharing what one likes having done to one's nether-regions, should wait until you have known someone a little longer. Like an hour, at least.

7 comments:

d-man said...

Is it wrong to find myself wishing I'd been there?

Mark said...

Was she a stunner???

Mrs Smith said...

My answer to Mark is no - but then, many might beg to differ, but there is no accounting for the common taste. I mean, look how popular John Campbell is.

Mark said...

Quite right. There is no accounting for taste, period. Just for curiosity, Which John Campbell?

Mrs Smith said...

This one, Mark. Ugh.

Mrs Smith said...

Gosh. I made a proper link in a comment. How clever I am.

Mark said...

Okay. Three seconds of JC video:

Piggy nose, beady eyes, twisted smirk and sounds like a shit salesman with a mouth full of samples.

Point well taken, Mrs. Smith.

;o)>