Tuesday, January 02, 2007

A Day At The Races

New Year’s Day at the Ellerslie races. A lovely day out, except for a thumping hangover, and that every horse I bet on romped gaily past the finishing post, five minutes after the winners. However, I do have a few words of advice for the attending fashionistas:

  • Fascinators were fascinating two years ago. They can no longer be considered a viable substitute for a hat, and should now be called what they really are: novelty hair-clips.

  • Trelise Cooper. She designs clothes for over-weight, middle-aged women. If you are not an over-weight, middle-aged woman, you will soon look like one in a Trelise outfit. This effect, combined with Ms Cooper’s trademark frills, bows, and garish colour combinations, is guaranteed to make one look like an animated carnival tent. Avoid at all costs.

  • Gentlemen; quality speaks for itself. Obvious logos are like tampons; for women only.

Happy New Year!


Cactus Kate said...

The fake Cooper should be suing Trelise Cooper for the crap in her latest collection.

I recall one day at Princes Wharf returning from a too long lunch at Euro over the road to PricewaterhouseCoopers to pretend to do some work.

I was too drunk to sit at my desk so made the error of passing Starmart on my way home to my apartment on the Wharf for some recovery Gatorade and shopping at Trelise Cooper. I purchased what I thought was a fine looking jacket.

I sobered up the next day and wore it because its fucking meant to be fashionable at $700. Then I realised the fucking arms were cut to shreds and it looked like something you would put on a scarecrow.

That pretty much describes all her clothes. And what the fuck is with a "luscious" range size 0 and 2....is it to make fat people feel better?

You are only luscious when you can feel your own ribs and perhaps see them in the mirror.

Robyn said...

Trelise Cooper clothes are for women who really admire Stevie Nicks.

If this does not describe you, do not buy Trelise Cooper clothes.