Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Postcard

Hello all,

My goodness it is hot! Steaming hot! Shopping in the sweltering sunshine is hard work. Did I forget to mention I was not in New Zealand at the moment? Winter is horrid, and I had to escape. Never mind where I am, nosey parkers.

It is not good to be in a country where all the women are the size of Hummel figurines. Most clothes would not fit me unless I sawed off a few limbs, although this does not concern me too much, as I have no desire to dress like a slutty grannie (which appears to be the local trend, if one can imagine it). However, even shoes in my size have proved to be impossible to find, and it is dispiriting to go into a shop, head to the 'large size' section, then have to shamefully shuffle from the shop as nothing can contain my (apparently) gargantuan monster feet.

However, the food is truly excellent. I have had almost no booze or coffee, instead loads of simply, yet perfectly prepared vegetables, and plenty of water and iced fruit teas. This entire country is like a giant health spa! I am sure I shall return home completely detoxified and cleansed, with health radiating from every pore. I will need to drink twice as much to make up for lost time.

Yours, etc,

Mrs Smith

4 comments:

miss_seph said...

I feel your pain WRT the clothing size thing - that's why I refuse to shop in Asia. It's depressing.

And I find that flying, and its associated fluid retentions, distorts the size of one's feet, so if you manage to find shoes that fit at the time, after having returned home for a couple of weeks, they're suddenly a size too large.

You left just in time too - it appears that true Auckland winter is finally upon us.

unPC lesbian said...

Oh please pleeeeeze can we have a poll as to where your readers think you are?

Mrs Smith said...

Miss Seph - indeed, my feet are still a bit puffy from flying, but I am afraid I can't blame that entirely on why the shoes will not fit. So many shoe shops I must pass by. It's cruel.

UnPC - no way. Secret squirrel.

Mrs Smith said...

P.S. The photos will be a dead giveaway, anyway.