Friday, November 16, 2007


Over at the NZBC, dear Mr Stratford ponders the concept of prostitute review sites;

"… one wonders why these guys don't just get girlfriends. At £300 an hour for two temporary "girlfriends", or £120 for one, wouldn’t it be cheaper? And, well, nicer?"

Nicer! What a dear, sweet man! I want to top him off with whipped cream and strawberries, and serve him up at my next luncheon. However, I should point out that 120 pounds ($NZ300 +) an hour really wouldn't get you much of a girlfriend. Try waving that pocket change around the viaduct, and a gentleman wouldn't get so much as a peck on the cheek.

To be quite practical about these things, if someone were to add up the amount of money spent on a girlfriend, and divide that by the number of oral visitations received, it would no doubt be fiscally far more sensible to pop up and see Crystal in the Egyptian Room every so often.

Which brings us to the next thought, the odd things people do in the name of sexual gratification. The English seem to be infamous for a few things, like an aversion to bathing, and more pertinently, spanky hanky-panky. The English love a good whipping, and, funnily enough, most of them deserve it, but is it just an English thing?

My thoughts are that sexual deviancy (for want of a better turn of phrase) is very much like the English language.
-It is practiced everywhere.
-It is taught to the highest standard at boarding schools.

To some, after years of ‘lights out’ in a room full of pubescent school-friends, a menage-a-quatre is verging on monogamy, and youthful memories are happily recalled over an expertly-wielded paddle. But what is deviant these days anyway? One is shocked by very little anymore. I saw a woman in Newmarket yesterday, wearing a silver sequin mini-dress (at ten in the morning! And with thighs like that!), which made me recoil in horror, but someone's giggled confessions about a (male) paramour’s predilection for parading in panties is a dull respite between courses.

One begins to wonder if the only true deviancy these days is "niceness." It certainly is unusual enough.


Mark said...

Spanking - naw. Heels and hose and a bit of the old slap-and-tickle - you bet!

Stephen Stratford said...

"I want to top him off with whipped cream and strawberries, and serve him up at my next luncheon."

Why, Mrs Smith, if I weren't happily married and keen to remain so, I would take you up on your kind offer. It has been a long time since I engaged in this kind of caper.

yours wistfully...

Miss Prozac said...

Hmmm Miss Prozac is getting peckish...

Does Stephen know that there is a NZ outfit offering expensive exclusive female escorts for similar errr culinary delights?