Thursday, November 29, 2007

Where's Cricket?

Many is the time I wish the Smith cat would disappear, especially when he decides he wants his breakfast at three in the morning. I also suspect he has Munchausen’s Syndrome (causing self-harm to get attention), such as when he faked a cancerous lesion (ka ching at the local veterinarian to find out it was a scratch from a stick).

Nonetheless, he is much loved, and I would be distraught if he were to go missing. As you all no doubt know by now, Nicky Watson’s "chuwawa" Cricket has gone missing – last seen at Matarangi. Now – New Zealand is a very small country – it can't be that hard to find the wee fellow.

Everyone – go check your pockets, handbags, and under stray bits of dust. His mother wants him back desperately. Contact details are on 'Pets on the Net' if you have any information. Proper information, don’t be a nong and make something up.


Where's Cricket?

Capri pants! Who told Auckland women these were permissable to wear? Someone needs to own up, and get the sound thrashing they deserve. My walk along Ponsonby Road yesterday, in the glorious sunshine, was irrevocably ruined by these cropped affronts to the senses. I would no sooner recover from one pair, when another pair would stride stumpily into view. Beach – yes. Home – if you must. In the city – non! I get all the fashion mags, and I do not recall seeing these horrible things gracing models elegantly wasted limbs.

Remember the words of Trinny and Susannah – one’s legs only look as long as one’s trousers – and Auckland’s women are looking like extras from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Take them off at once, and put some proper clothing on.

Update: Au revoir, Cricket.

14 comments:

Whaleoil said...

Are we sure it's a dog that is missing?

http://nz.youtube.com/watch?v=smZylPaVCNk

unPC lesbian said...

Who cares about the fukkin dog....please describe the capri's you find so offensive......she says running to her wardrobe muttering I'm 5' 10" without shoes on, surely my legs look long......

Amanda said...

Ohhh 'over the knee' is okay though right? I have over the knee work shorts.

There seem to be some ugly floral capri's being sported around town right now.

Mark said...

"Take them off at once, and put some proper clothing on."

I'm down with the first part of that sentence!!!

Glassboy said...

As I was leaving the Langham to fly back to Wellington a well heeled older woman came out to some her Audi dressed completely in silver.

I didn't know R4s could take you to the moon.

Anonymous said...

Is this animal desexed?.Don't know.

Cant stop cyring , sides hurt, must lie down.

A.

Barnsley Bill said...

I wonder.. Has she checked it is not wedged under one of those enormous dugs?

WendyWings said...

Cricket eloped with one of Paris's dogs that was over here at a spa retreat.

As for the capri's I blame Kath and Kim.

Robyn said...

The same laws of physics apply to men wearing short longs/long shorts. I saw once Savage from the Deceptikonz wearing a pair of shorts that were so long they looked like a pair of trousers that had shrunk in the wash, which is a terrible look to be sporting by anyone.

Mark said...

"looked like a pair of trousers that had shrunk in the wash"

"High water pants". They look stupid.

His shoes could have a party and invite his pants down.

Lita said...

Mrs Smith for prime minister. The capri pants portfolio is a winner.

miss_seph said...

Poor Cricket Dead on the beach :(

Randominanity said...

sounds like suicide to me. Poor old Cricket couldn't take it any more and walked out into a high tide.

Mrs Smith said...

Thanks for the nomination, Lita! Imagine what a lovely capri-free country it would be if I were running it!

Amanda - Above the knee work-shorts: Assuming you are referring to the tailored variety, in which case, only for those who are 25 years old or less. Older than that, and you are asking for troub.

UnPC - as you are 5ft 10, I think you can wear whatever you like, and stamp on anyone who disagrees.