Addiction

The Spare Room has a news-clip about the managing editor of Forbes magazine who decided to go without technology for an entire week (‘without technology’ is actually not as stringent as it sounds; he just had to do without his cell-phone, Blackberry, and email). The editor was reduced to tears within forty hours, and begged for cell-phone mercy. Lacking the desire and the necessity to be constantly contactable, I was wholly unsympathetic.

However, I suffered my own brand of deprivation today. I did not resort to unabashed sobbing, but possibly this was only because I was rendered incapable of any vaguely human response.

I usually start my mornings in a veritable frenzy of stimulants. A pot of (very strong) coffee, an unmentionable number of cigarettes, and a Slimfast© tablet (with vitamin BZP) with breakfast. By 8am, I am fully functioning.

This morning I had to leave the house early - having had only half a cup of coffee, and no cigarettes. I felt utterly disassociated, as if my body was being controlled by a slightly inept puppet-master. I hoped it appeared I was walking and talking normally. It didn’t feel as if I was. Three large cups of coffee later, I felt like I was half-way to normalcy. I chain-smoked an equal number of ciggies, and the puppet-master had things running smoothly again.

I don’t know whether this is appalling, or not. I suspect it is.