Monday, March 26, 2007

Ha Ha

Why is it that no matter how many times one tells oneself, "I'm never going to get that drunk again," one bloody well does? Everyone knows you never mix drinks, but the problem is that when one is horridly drunk (at the point when one gives up on the arduous task of focussing one’s eyes), moving from champagne to cocktails seems a really good idea, which of course is sheer stupidity. The two-day hangover was regrettable, but in a way I am thankful, that as some point I was incapacitated.

We had heard some fabulous gossip (which I dare not pass on. Sorry), about how some very high and mighty type and fallen all too far from her lofty perch. She was so much a laughing stock, she could open her own comedy supermarket.

A couple of days later (when I could move without my head hurting), I looked in my handbag. There was a postcard, written in my own, drunk, yet perfectly legible hand, addressed to the Laughing Stock. I had written on it, the simple message, “Ha ha. Love, Mrs Smith.”

I have no memory of writing this, I have no idea where I got the postcard itself from (it had a picture of frolicking lambs on it). While it probably seemed terribly funny at the time, thank God I was apparently too drunk to make it to a letter-box.

So then. There are advantages to getting blind drunk. I have yet to justify repeatedly vomitting in a public garden, but I am working on it.


unPC lesbian said...

I find immoderate drinking tends to come with the bonus of several kilos in weight loss over the following days. And fertilising public gardens is just you doing your civic duty.

I tend to try chanting during the day before, "never mix the grape with the grain", but somehow when the idea to switch from bubbles to various vodka mixtures hits it always seems such a good idea, that I just HAVE to do it. I'm planning a night on the dancefloor this coming weekend, maybe I should start the chanting now.

Mrs Smith said...

Yes - I suppose I am grateful that a large number of alcohol calories were expunged before they could wreak havoc on my girth. Civic duty! Brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?

Ms Klake said...

I do believe that I announced that I would never again touch a drop of alcohol after my new years vomit debacle.

However it seems that I consistently show myself up as a blatant liar every time I say such things.

I've just learnt to accept that I'm full of it, and that when it comes to that particular statement I shouldn't get indignant when people laugh and brush my resolution off.